A Song For the Broken (Really this time)

Jesus. Sweet, sweet Jesus, please come in and make me new. Brand new. Why am i nauseous.

A Song for the Broken

This is a song
Just a song

How can I move with words,
or change with tears

This is a song--my simple song
My heart's cry for the broken to be healed

This is a prayer
A heartfelt prayer

For you to feel the
Heaven Maker's embrace

And when you don't--
still, know He's there
I'm begging you to trust
the arms of grace

This is your Healer, your Defender, your Spacious Place
He longs to hold you, to mend you, to wipe your face
And when the darkness seems to swallow all the light
He finds lost pieces strewn in corners from the fight

I cannot calm your worries, stay your fears,
take your pain or stop your tears

All I have is a song--my simple song
My heart's cry for the broken to be healed

a song for the broken...mabye i will write one someday

so here i am, in lind's posh little cottage, using her posh new ibook. i feel very up on things. i like her computer. it is nice. anyway.
i am SO excited about getting opportunities to invest in and love on the new girls in aopi. and just people in general this year. hopefully i will open up my eyes and SEE the opportunities around me, and also be active in initiating new ones. looking into some right now. hopefully they will work out. newfound passion for singing over the broken. somehow, both here and all over the world, over all kinds of people. especially little ones. just broken people. because i know i can't make things better. i can't provide all they need. i can't make hurts go away. i can't make the sick ones better or the impoverished stable. i can't make people come back to life or hearts mend or right wrongs. but i can sing them a song. i can maybe make them forget for awhile, or even better, make them see something bigger and better and comfort their hearts a tad.
ok the battery is dying. adios friends.

Round one, Day one

just a quick check-in...in the middle of the first day of round one of rush...excuse me, 'Recruitment'. it really hasn't been so bad thus far. except the grading part. that's...weird. and it feels wrong. these are all precious hearts and i don't want to crush them. ok...i am super tired and going to lay down a bit before we have change back into our dresses and the lunch break is over. it's kind of silly, but there is this girl i am tagging (talking to) in one of these first rounds after lunch, and i am nervous. i know her already, but i think somewhere in my head i'm like, what if she doesn't like me so she doesn't like all of us? silliness. i am THE LORD'S. He is mighty and sufficient. I really don't know how i got in from all i have seen and heard...i am quiet, esp around strangers, and those girls don't do as well. just listening to my group talk about the girls they have rushed, and if they say, she's so sweet, but she's really quiet...i mean. really. it's a miracle. i think there might be some kind of underlying issue i need to deal with here. ANYWAY. not looking forward to putting back on those high heels...
'Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus'
I Thessalonians 5 16-18

RUSH!

it is almost here...yikes. it is some kind of intense singing and chanting and smiling and talking and dressing up. it is a challenge for me, you might say, since not all of those things are at the top of my list. but it is an exercise to do things for Jesus and with JOY and a good attitude. it is long days and petty details. crazy stuff. actually i have to go off and finish decorating our door and our room...yet another thing to do with excellence even when it seems silly, i suppose...
ps. i find myself becoming more shallow, as we look at all these girls, and the only thing we can tell about them is on paper--what they do and what they look like. and if she's cute, almost automatically everyone likes her. i mean, me included. and i caught myself thinking that way. i was like, whoa, kelly, why don't you be more shallow? ok. really need to go now. pearl painted letters and green seersucker calls...

Light...?

finally back in athens. and it is SO weird. this year is already so different from the last. besides living in the AOPi house. [imean really? is it really necessary keep on switching the light on and off, or whatever that clicking noise is? REVELATION: it is the staple gun. we are supposed to decorate our doors. necessary, i suppose, but still a bit unnerving.]
i read a quote that is on my bulletin board at home the other day, and it was such a good reminder. something like, 'do not pray for tasks equal to your strength, but pray for strength equal to your tasks' then it ended with something i can't remember, but it made the point that by the strength in us that is not ours, we ourselves are a miracle. i am not sure i could feel more inadequate or unwise or young or little. ok, so i'm sure i could. but. either way, i think it is a wonderful place to be, because then i can't do anything to mess up what He will.
while writing a comment on someone else's blog just a few minutes ago, something came out that had to be from Jesus. i said i'd really rather be blinded by the light than by darkness. and that's kind of what it is like, i think. [humor me...it might be a stretch...] i would rather feel in the dark in the midst of His splendor that be bumbling around. when i am blinded by light, sometimes i am incapacitated because i see things as they are. ok i am done. beginning to make no sense i think.