Christmas Wish List

It's Christmas. The lights are out downtown, making it look like a wonderland where fireflies are always twinkling above. Christmas music, complete with All I Want For Christmas Is You and O Holy Night. Things are on the upswing. I think.
But let's see. What a semester it has been. An emotional breakdown, some very dark days. er, weeks. So much confusion and apathy in my heart and head and body. Stress. Believing in lies. Awakening to the fact I have drifted from the Truth. Trying to find my way back. A stupid crush. Then getting over it. Another crush I am trying to stamp out. Trying to fall back in love with Jesus. The passionate love. Not the decision love. But is the decision love so bad? I don't really know...
Where is life taking me. When can I see Your face again. When can I hear You speak and see You move. When will I think of those things more than myself. More than my here and now. When will it be Real to me again. When will You be Real to me again.
Yes, perhaps on the upswing, but just up from the valley and still in the desert. All I want for Christmas is You...