A few thoughts

It's been a long long time. I should be working on my Portfolio that is due tomorrow, but I just wanted to write some things out. Yesterday, it occurred to me that I usually associate intellectual people with pride, sarcasm, and a disconnect between head and heart. This is odd, because I think I am somewhat intellectual. And one of my favorite things is stimulating and deep conversation. But because of a few brilliant people who have more often than not proven themselves to be impatient and slightly prideful and not understanding, I guess somewhere in my subconcious, I related the two spheres. As a result, it makes me slightly terrified of getting close to really intellectual people. Trish pointed out that the things that scare or intimidate me are true of myself also, and therefore kind of silly. Understandable, but without true basis. And she also pointed out that discounting anyone for assumption of how they will live out the philosophies and ideas is like those that don't even search out Christianity because they are turned off by Christians. One is not necessarily the other.
And another thing. Is character inherent? Or is it only a reaction to the people and things we surround ourselves with? What if it is both? What if it is different things that are always there inside us, but they come out in different situations. I don't know.
It seems I am perpetually waiting these days. Waiting to see what will happen, where I will be, what I will do, how things will turn out. The story of my life: awkwardness, different-ness, and waiting.