Running is Beautiful...Who Knew?

wow. today started out good, but kind of confusing. journals are so wonderful because you are talking to God, to yourself, to an inanimate object, so it is ok to let out grief and questions and secrets and hardships without sounding crazy or ungrateful. like your head, where you can think all you want, except writing things down helps sort them out and go through different stages of thought or emotion.
that's what i did today. started out confused and discouraged...wrote through that. i guess i kind of always have to go through what i'm feeling, then what i know to true, and come to some kind of conclusion. it is so divinely unfortunate that the people i long to love and encourage the most have the hearts that are farthest and most fortified. my conclusion was that everything is peripheral (sp?) to the burning desire to know and see my God. however impossible things seem, and however defeated and helpless i feel...it is of no consequence as long as i am flat out running towards His shining face. and right now i am at that place...i want everything He has for me, all of Him...to see Him and know Him, to hear His voice and walk in His Presence all day long, to reflect His radiant beauty to the world around me and become more and more like Him as i fall deeper in love. so i don't really care about distant people or impossible dreams. i want to look through everything with the lense that God is mighty, and He will take care of the rest if i just die gloriously and rest furiously in Him.
after this revelation, i went to lift and run...and might i say that i have not run in at least a couple of months. i despise running. but i actually ran about 3 miles, which i think is unprecedented for me. (as the dedicated runners gasp). but the beautiful thing is that i loved it. like LOVED it. i was using my ipod for the first time ever(yes i am quite behind), and i cannot even describe the thrill of running for my King. listening to the likes of Shane and Shane and hymns and old Passion songs, it was a time of worship for me like i have never experienced before. it was a tangible way literally to run after the Lord. i'm sure the other people at the gym were giving weird looks as i mouthed the words and got totally into the songs. at least i'm almost positive i was just mouthing. but it was a beautiful, wonderful revelation and time of worship. i hope i will not lose sight of the truth of the perspective the Lord let me see today. He truly has the whole world in His hands.